Not to be dramatic, but I really believe I’m healing generational trauma with my life. Or at least I’m trying to.

Recently, Can’t Go For That by Hall & Oates came on and it caught my attention. I posted a screenshot to IG with the caption, “POV: me setting boundaries in July.”

In the same vein of that drama– or spiritualism, whatever you want to call it– I believe in messages from the universe. Downloads, if you will. It might sound crazy, but I’ve found that when I tune in, I’m bound to notice things that feel meant for me to hear or see. Things that feel timely, like they are speaking to me specifically at this exact moment of my life.

Today I went to a workout class labeled, “Themed Thursday: PRIDE.” I threw on a rainbow top and headed off, excited to celebrate my queerness in a new space and meditate on Pride while moving my body.

But the experience wasn’t just disappointing– it was frustrating to the point of distraction. Instead of the benefit of getting out of my head and into my body exercise usually brings, I was mentally monologuing about how thoroughly they’d missed the mark.

I think a lot about myself when I’m thinking about you on this day. That is – you in relation to me. What would you think of me now? What would we be doing together? What conversations would we have? I’m sure it’s because I want to feel close to you. And so much of my concept of you is wrapped up in me– my mommy.